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Who Should Initiate In A Relationship?

Since the stone age, guys have initiated relationships by “clubbing” a woman.. on her head and dragging her back home. I wouldn’t say it’s much different these days with the only difference being the choice of weapon : alcohol.

Okay, back from my ranting land. – There has been a huge debate on whether girls should initiate more, whether they should pick up the ropes in eraning absolutely useless yet infinitely entertaining pick up lines, whether they should initiate asking for dates, or whether they should initiate popping the important questions in life or not.

In recent times, guys have been required or pressured by society to be the more initiative side in a relationship, especially when it comes to the small stuff like holding hands, kissing, bungee jumping (you wouldn’t believe it) and popping the question. This leads us to beg the million dollar monumentally important question..

DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

Quite frankly, i don’t see the need to be bothered by such an issue as i am governed by this principle which i believe after you’ve read about it, would not only agree upon, but be left unaffected by who initiates what in a relationship anymore.

“Whoever initiates first is the more willing of the two.” – that’s my principle, and whoooa alright put down your flamethrowers, let me justify myself first. Whoever initiates first is the more willing of the two because it shows that he/she is willing to not be bothered by social conventionalism and instead be ruled by the only rule that makes sense : love. To love someone so much that you aren’t bothered by what others would think if you initiate first, whether it be an apology after a quarrel, the first time you both hold hands, or even the asking out on a date – the first person who initiates is the more willing.

To Hell With Conventionalism And Social Pressures!

In fact, if i could rearrange and influence the minds of everyone in this world (a reason you should facebook like this post), i’d change the scenario to not a question on who should initiate first, but who gets to initiate first. Everyone should be rushing to initiate in a relationship as conventionalism and social pressures only serves as a barrier of pride and conformity to truly letting yourself fully love someone (:

Now, Hold That Hand!

Well, if you’ve been hesitating to be the first to hold that hand in your relationship, or to kiss that kiss, then after reading this, you should be convinced enough to seize snatch the initiative and go make that first move. It only proves you are the more willing, the more loving, and the one putting in more effort in relationship – something you can use as leverage in the future (HEH.) 

How To Get A Girl / Guy To Do What You Want

You’ve been there, the quarreling, the compromising, the flipping of coins and sometimes, the flying kicks – all to get a decision to go your way. Decision making is a huge part of our love lives and it doesn’t always go our way. But wait! It doesn’t always to happen that way. Here’s an ancient trick passed down from Ghandi himself on how to get a girl / girl to do what you want. -winks.

Either, Or

It’s called the “Either, Or” principle. It works by helping them assume that they have already made a decision in your favor and all that’s left is in which way they would want to carry out that favor. Here’s an example of how this works. I would ask, “Hey there sexy (don’t use this greeting), would you like to catch either Iron Man 2 or Ip Man 2 with me this weekend?” – See, i’ve already helped the sexy girl i like make the decision of watching the movie with me this weekend, it’s just whether she wants to watch Iron Man 2 or Ip Man 2 (Ip man would totally kick Iron Man’s ass, btw).

So You Think You Can Pick Up Megan Fox?

Well, actually, no you can’t. This tactic does not guarantee you a 100% chance of getting a date or getting a decision to go your way, but it increases your chances hugely of getting a decision to go in your favor. So, the next time you want to suggest doing something – SKIP THAT PART, simply suggest 2 options you’d like to do which are subsets of what you originally wanted to do in the first place. (:

 

Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys

You’ve seen it in the movies – girls falling for the bad guys in movies, for the drug dealers, for the school haters and for the vampires. Well, the underlying reason behind this behavior primarily is because of human’s need to rebel. To take a walk near the dark side and for some, to take a walk TO the dark side. And since society paints the perfect man as a well dressed, neat cut, stable job holding non-vampire, the complete opposite is what attracts us, mainly skull designed, medusa-haired, drug syndicate Edward Cullens. BUT, there’s a type of boys, a hybrid so to speak, that sweeps girls off their feet and stakes every Edward Cullen there is.

The Hybrid

Despite the natural inclination to want all that is bad, girls have a more practical side to them too. Basically – they want a certain status and assurance in their men. To be assured that they would be well provided and not live off grass (mix it with ketchup and it’s kinda tasty) in the future. Summing up – they want a men who can provide and ain’t all bad. So, this is how the hybrid is born.

The hybrid is a mix between the good and the bad, like chicken and broccoli (i’m hungry you see). The hybrid will be the man who’s not all good, yet not all bad. While he has this mohawk and have skulls hanging from his neck, he would also be an oxford graduate, while he may curse and swear at the world, when he’s with his mom he protects her and loves her unconditionally, and while he walks with an air of arrogance, he dresses up professionally. It’s this kind of person that is known as the hybrid and simply melts women’s hearts.

The Explanation

The explanation behind this is fairly simple, the hybrid combines the need and wants of any girl – the bad boy image with the good boy qualities. Usually it’s that way round, it’s hardly the bad boy qualities with the good boy image. Combining the best of both worlds, this leave us with the hybrid, a person that satisfies the needs and wants of any girl.

Start Remodeling

Yup, start remodeling people.  If you’re a goody two shoes, go and inject a dose of badass into yourself, and if you’re a badass already, go inject a dose of harry-potter-goodness into yourself and with just the right dosage and balance, you’ll be hot property -winks.

Anyway, i’ll be spending a lot more time in the Loveawake forum so to have a personal word with me or if you have any questions ranging from your affairs of the heart to why do they call it a building when it’s already built, do find me at Loveawake blog

How To Get A Guy Back After You Scared Him Away

This is a special request i received asking on how to get a guy  back if you have scared him away. Do note that if you all have any special requests for articles you would want me to write on, you can always contact me here. Anyway, back to the topic at hand – so you scared the guy off, what tactics (apart from black magic, black mail and voodoo dolls – despite their amazing effectiveness) can you employ get him back? (:

Step 1.) Pinpoint The Problem First

First and foremost, you have to pinpoint the problem that he had with you that scared him away in the first place. This could be because he thought you were too clingy, too possessive, too unfaithful (gonna be tough), too dominant or a whole host of other reasons. These points are usually the points you discuss and quarrel about prior to a breakup so you should know very well what are they. So pinpoint them first then go to step 2.

Step 2.) Wrong On Your Pinpointed Problem

Go for whatever therapy it takes to get rid of your pinpointed problem, whether it be retail therapy, massage therapy or even lemon squeezing therapy (it works). The main point is to overcome that problem whether it may be because you were too possessive, too clingy or too dominant. After you’ve ensured that you’ve overcame that problem, it’s time for you to start showing it off.

Step 3.) Show Him How Wrong He Was

This can take the more indirect form of taking every chance to rub what he thought was wrong with you in his face after your therapy sessions have helped you overcame it, through showing him how non-needy you are, how changed you have become and basically showing him how everything that he thought was wrong with you, has now changed . If you opt for the more direct method, simply do cartwheels in front of him (do practice first before executing them though). After he sees how wrong he has been on you, he’ll definitely start wanting you back -winks.

 

How To Woo A Guy

Forget about teddy bears and stuff toys to woo a guy, they’re only worth getting a guy if they have opposable thumbs and can hold machine guns, which they obviously can’t (at least for the teddy bears i received, had to sew it into their hands). There are many better ways to woo a guy, but here are my top 3 – a secret passed down from generations to generations, but somehow not landing on the hands of any single given female -shrugs.

Take A Genuine Interest In His Interest

Unlike my article on how to woo a girl, how to woo a guy requires you to take a genuine interest in his interest. This can be in the form of being able to name all (or at least 2) the players in the soccer team he supports, or be able to sit through a gruesome 2 hour long tennis match without falling asleep, or even to understand the complex strategies and rules (at least they are, according to women) of football. Whichever the interest your guy of choice has chosen to be obsessed over, taking (and not feigning) a genuine interest in it would go a looong way to making you seem a lot more likable, plus you’ll get to spend a lot more time with him (although i cannot guarantee his attention would be on you for more than 10 minutes, excluding half time breaks).

Support The Rival Team

Oh, this one i find particularly attractive. When a girl (genuinely) supports a rival team. This indefinitely increases the intensity between the two of you, something no amount of lingerie or.. chocolate, can do. However, do be warned that although this intensity is a double edged sword. If the rival team you support beats your guy of choice’s team, he’ll be hating you for quite some time and it’d be wise to back off a bit. BUT, if his team wins, despite you being supposedly sad, he will celebrate so hard he’ll possibly even sell his house, or his latest toy car collection away. The main point is that he’ll feel victorious and superior over you, something guys can hardly do when placed in a spelling bee competition, and he’ll love every part of it, and YOU are also part of it. (:

Be Initiative

Okay, i believe i speak for most guys here when i say that guys don’t really like to initiate. It’s a stupid rule that was made because our stone age alpha male ancestor lost in a game or rock paper scissors to the alpha female, ever since then, it’s been the bane of our pursuit of relationships. However, every once in awhile, a girl would break that trend and take the initiative instead – this can be in the form of initiating conversation to initiating a request for a date – and this lightens the pressure greatly on the guy, and guys love that. They spend thousands of hours reading  up on how to approach a girl, and another thousand hesitating when the opportunity presents itself, so a simple switch of initiative would really really make their day, and put you in pole position for the race of their heart.

All The Best (:

Yup, all the best in your quest on wooing a guy. Previously,  i had a post on how to woo a girl, and do take note that most of the points there are also applicable in how to woo a guy, so perhaps it’s worth checking it out. Do post any further questions or requests you have here in the comment box below, or  perhaps even (much more encouraged) join Loveawake dating site and discuss your affairs of the heart there (: